I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
