Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
