yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
