She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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