What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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