we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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