WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
