He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So squirting runs in the family.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
