SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize