Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
