BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
