i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
