Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
