i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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