Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
