in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Terrible idea I love it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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