I just threw up on my dentist
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
