I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
