walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just high enough for therapy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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