Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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