Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The power of my boobs compel you
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
