I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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