chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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