Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
