Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We got so high we made milksteak
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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