I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
