Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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