"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
