Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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