Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize