And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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