I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
