"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
