i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
