it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
