it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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