you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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