I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
