i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
