3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
