Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
