hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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