I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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