Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
