Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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