I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
