Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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