i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
