i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
