U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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