worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
